Passing bricks and fumbling in the dark–

Posted at Sep 28, 2008 1:57 pm

Is what speaking to people feels like. I believe I was considered at least semi-intelligent in my previous life. Now I feel like a mentally challenged four year old at best. And quite frequently, after I assemble the bricks carefully, one at a time, and review what I have said I find that I have accidentally presented the entire sentence in future tense, or referred to myself in male conjugation. And if the person I’m speaking to appears completely mystified, it’s probably because instead of saying that someone’s condition is worsening I have remarked that that person is a donkey. (The words for donkey and worsen are very similar). Occasionally I do succeed in conveying my meaning but more often my attempts at communication consist of grunting noises and wild hand gestures.
Still, I insist on persevering and causing pain to innocent Israeli ears. Half the time they switch to English the moment I open my mouth, which is occasionally a relief, but more often frustrating and embarrassing. In the long run, though, I am happy that we have settled in this town, where I am forced to make the effort and learn. It would be much worse if I sounded like a demented gorilla three or four years into my aliyah. Now at least it’s excusable. And I am enjoying the challenge. When I do decipher something it feels like I’ve won a little prize. I’m just very tired at the end of the day.
And I so love walking to ulpan every morning. Every path I take here seems to lead me to another breathtaking overlook or scenic view: the benefits of living on the side of a mountain. I have always appreciated man-made scenery even more than natural landscapes, and the fact that everything around me is only twelve years old, and built on two thousand year old historical ruins is thrilling. They have excavated Hasmonean ruins just five minutes from my home.
My daughters are still loving it here. Today I overheard my eldest speaking to her grandfather on the phone and her perspective on our move surprised me. I never thought to hear such earnest Zionistic idealogy come from her lips. She was talking about the importance and purpose to aliyah and expressing herself like an adult. And here I thought she was just excited about the adventure part of it all!
In other much more important news: I have been informed by my S.H. blog moles that the cast for the upcoming Holmes movie is as follows: Robert Downey Jr. (Holmes). Jude Law (Watson). Rachel Mcadams (Irene Adler/ love interest.

Yep. Jude Law. Watson. The girl from The Notebook as the detective’s “love interest.” (vomit)
AND I AM THRILLED!!!!!!! (Happy vomit)
Why shouldn’t I be? An all-star movie about Sherlock Holmes clearly aimed at fan-girls coming out at the same time as my novel?!!!!
Is that not awesome? Even if it sucks. Even if it completely flops. Publicity is still publicity.
But honestly, is Jude Law nuts? Or has his career tanked that badly?
I should say that I like every one of those actors/actresses.. but in those roles… I just can’t see it. And I am squinting very hard….

Also if I have to sit through another Irene Adler is sultry temptress/ Holmes is smitten cutie bit of trash I may die. I saw the same deal with Christopher Lee and Morgan Fairchild and I am still nursing those scars.
And now to shake the image from my mind and drown in Colbert Report downloads.

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